And how vulnerable you’re able to make yourself is based on how honest you are to yourself and others.”ĭon’t try to “be cool” and “act like you’re not interested,” by honestly expressing your interest in dating someone, you shortcut the “invsetment paradox” and demonstrate both interest and confidence at the same time. Your confident behavior is based on how vulnerable you’re able to make yourself. How attractive you are is based on your confident behavior. The more nervous it makes you, the better, because it means you’re being authentic and making yourself vulnerable. You say it because you mean it and mean it because you say it. “So the catch is that everything you say must be as authentic as possible.
If someone isn’t meeting those standards, move on. This goes for casual sex and serious dating, know what you want and what you’ll put up with, and what you won’t. Set very high standards and stick to them, don’t waste time with anyone who doesn’t meet those standards. If you’re at the bottom of the food chain, your entire life will revolve around the deferring to others.” “If you’re at the top of the food chain, you have no reason to be inhibited or to defer to others (unless you want to). The way to build true confidence and become more attractive is to invest heavily in oneself, women are typically more attracted to men who are more invested in themselves than they are in them. How attractive a man is is proportional to his True Confidence, simply, being less invested in other people’s perceptions of you than in your perception of yourself. On the other hand, being physically assertive and sexually forthright triggers a woman’s sexual arousal and makes her want to have sex, often right then and there, and often even if she rejects your advances two or three or ten times.”
It’s a psychological, long-term, identity-level attraction. Status attracts women, but by itself, it only attracts them in a way that they want to be your girlfriend, not jump your bones. “It’s important to relate this back to the original dichotomy of female attraction and arousal mentioned earlier in the chapter. Bold and aggressive pursuit can turn a woman on to the point where she comes around and wants to get to know you. This is why the more physical assertiveness you pursue a woman with, the more aroused she becomes, even if she wasn’t interested in you to begin with. You don’t have to be rich and famous to be attractive, but you should display the qualities that show you have potential to be rich and famous, which is indicated by your social status and behavior, which is indicated by how you behave around others, how others behave around you, and how you treat yourself.īoth men and women are aroused by being desired, but since female arousal is more psychological than male arousal, the sense of “being desired” is even stronger in determining a woman being attracted to a man.
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